Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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