Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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