im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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