are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
