Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
did i just pee glitter
he just fucked me for my cheese..
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
