i used baking grease as lip gloss
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
