Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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