my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
