I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
