Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
