you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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