he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Randomize
