and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Do vagina's smell?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
