Whod you bang
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
