When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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