He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
