Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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