In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
