Don't make out with my wife yet
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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