When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
