Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I want to fling myself into the sun
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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