So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize