If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
