tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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