it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
