Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
