The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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