I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
