Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
