hotel room ftw
I think I won the penis lottery.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
my poor anus
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
