Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
BRING THE BAGELS
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Randomize
