Christians are straight up FREAKS
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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