***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
