therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize