why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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