it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
