You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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