Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Randomize
