You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
