Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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