I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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