i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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