Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
