dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
