I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
