Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
