Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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