last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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