If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm too high and old for this...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
