my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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