Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
