I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
