You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
