We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize