Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
