You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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